Saabs are nice. I've liked them since I was wee - they're safe like Volvos but not as boxy - the kind of thing that a professional (like what I am)
should be driving around in. Not ostentatious, but showing signs of success.
This car was the victim of my arseholeness in July 2005, when I was fixing the TVR's old exhaust with exhaust bandage, started it to "allow the exhaust to warm up gently" and managed to render both of my cars undriveable, even although I wasn't driving either of them at the time. The full story is on the July 05 page, but in summary, I started the car through the window, it was in gear, it lurches forward, the door hits my arse, forcing the door closed onto my arm, which is pushed upwards away from the ignition key, the car continues into the side of the Saab is parked 15 feet away, side-on, on the other side of the road.
This writes off the TVR's bonnet, but the Saab looks ok - bit of TVR paint on the wheel rim just.
When I move the Saab back into the drive, I realise that I can't turn right... I parked it with the front wheels turned left, and closer inspection reveals a badly bent (like 90 degrees bent) tie rod - probably needs a new steering rack.
It's a company car. How can I explain this? I decide not to... I book the Saab into the dealer for repair on the Tuesday, and arrange a trailer lift to get it there, and a loan of a car to get to work on the Monday.
Because it was a company car, I didn't really touch it mechanically - that was left to the main dealer (at the company's expense). That led to two issues:
1. Costs
The car came with a parts and labour warranty. During the 3 years I had it, various bits were changed under warranty, including front seat belts, cheap peeling door handles, cheap peeling interior trim, rusting wheel bolts, a front hub bearing and a bit of exhaust pipe. This raised a problem of its own, because for each bit of warranty work, the dealer was paid £40 per hour by SAAB UK. They then tried to charge the difference between Saab's agreed payment and the “retail” labour rate of £95 or so per hour – ie an extra charge of £55 per hour. I told them that this practice was cheap and nasty and unbecoming a so-called “quality” image. aA quick call to the warranty company and Saab UK confirmed that it shouldn’t have happened, I got a refund and the dealer got a booting.
Maintenance costs were already excessive anyway - every service cost more than £600, because of other work required each time (remember this was almost 20 years ago!). It ate brake pads. They were charging £60 at the time for 16 half-pints of oil at every service rather than the £30 retail price for a gallon.
2. Reliability
Without a doubt the least reliable "quality" car I have owned. Aside from the various warrant issues I've mentioned above, there were a number of ongoing issues, that were never properly resolved. I wrote to them not long before I traded it in for the first Lexus, and at that time, I said:
"Allow me to list the current faults with the car:
1. The air conditioning has made a “ratchet” noise on startup, since the date of purchase – I didn’t realise this was a fault until recently.
2. The rear suspension still clonks – reported & “fixed” in May 05 but still there.
3. The front suspension / steering groans and clonks.
4. The suspension creaks badly when negotiating speed humps even at crawling speeds.
5. The drivers seat lumbar support has never worked since purchase – I never reported it because I was not overly bothered.
6. The interior falling to bits, with various bits peeling badly again.
7. There is excessive rust in the bonnet slam panel.""
I told them that "I also have a 17-year-old TVR – a so-called unreliable make, also on 82,000 miles. Allow me to list its current faults:
1. Steering column bulkhead bearing worn and needs replaced. I have the parts, they cost me £4.50 brand new. It will take me about an hour to change.
I am sorry that it’s a much shorter list, but I maintain this car myself, and nobody else has laid a spanner on it. This car hasn’t seen a garage in the 4 years I have had it, apart from tyre changes and annual MOTs (for which it has never yet needed specific work done). That’s rubbish build quality for you though, eh?
If I put both cars in for MOT tomorrow, only one would have a chance of passing, and it wouldn’t be the Saab, not with a suspension system that sounds like a rusty oxcart full of bricks being driven over a Jamaican steel orchestra."
That didn't go down well...
What I had really written to them about, though, was the turbo intercooler. The car had gone into limp-home mode, was off the road for 3 days until I could book it in, and they diagnosed that the intercooler had been damaged. I expected this to be covered by the Saab Extended Warranty, but they said it wasn't - it's not on the list of covered items. I pointed out that it also wasn't in the list of excluded items either. They said that the intercooler had suffered accidental damage, and wasn't covered anyway. I showed them that the intercooler was entirely protected by the vehicle bodywork, so there was no possibility of this being accidental damage, unless during servicing (all of which had been carried out by themselves). When I said that I wanted the old part back, that diagnosis was withdrawn, and not mentioned again. When I got the intercooler back, you could clearly see that it had just failed under pressure. They replaced it, but only at a cost of £610.
All of that is bad enough. Worse, the intercooler failed again 4 weeks later. Internet investigation showed that this was a known common problem.
Cue another round of arguments. My tactic here is to sit down with the service manager and get him to explain to me, a daft laddie with no mechanical qualifications, what the intercooler does, where it is, and how it works. Then I ask how do they design it to make sure that it won't burst under excessive pressure? Oh, there's a pressure valve? What does that do? So if that's stuck closed what happens? Oh, the intercooler might burst? Is the pressure valve on my car working right? Oh, it isn't? Could that be related to the 2 burst intercoolers then? How did they miss that the first time? Why would I be paying again when they didn't diagnose and fix the funny valve in the first place?
By this time, he just wanted me to piss off and stop making his head nip, so they agreed to fix it free, before I asked Saab UK for further advice...
Car returned, all fixed. 2 weeks later, my 3-year company car period was up, so it was traded in for something else, just so that I wouldn't have to deal with that Saab dealer again.
Saab. Lovely cars. Feckin' useless dealer.