:: Diary - May 2008 ::

:: Saturday, May 3, 2008 ::

TVR Club meeting time again. Four of us S owners have agreed to meet up and travel through together - Dave's recently rebuilt, Mike's much-improved, Jim's recently-serviced and new swing arms, and mine recently-polished. They all look cracking as we drive through. A pretty uneventful journey apart from a nice man in a Maserati thing who decides to cut up the wrong side of a queue on a roundabout, to discover that TVR S types can accelerate quicker than he thought they could (maybe not as quick as a Maserati but quicker than he expected). He then decides to spend the next mile or two nailed to my back bumper. I do him the honour of completely igoring him and driving as if he wasn't there, so he soon gets bored.

The meeting again is good - 18 cars and a few more owners without their cars. 2 or 3 new members yet again. Watching the S owners stacking away their lunch, it's not surprising that we hear so many stories of broken springs though!

After some photos we head back home together (separate homes mind, we're not THAT friendly). When I stop, I have a text from a friend who has passed us on the way, and recognised the car. To be honest I didn't think that a convoy of 4 TVRs led by a loony with a fleecy viking helmet on, would have been all that conspicuous, but some people are obviously more observant than me.

:: Monday, May 5, 2008 ::

Roasting bank holiday day today so I decided to fix up the garden. I'm not really into gardening but a spring tidy-up and and a pre-winter bulldoze don't take too long.

Anyway after I have knackered myself to the marrow, going to the garden centre, cutting down a tree, planting out some tubs, raking chippings and weeding, I take a carload of rubbish to the tip. On the way back I find myself passing the new premises of my local motor factors, so I nip in and buy some oil, a filter and a fuel filter, because the car is due a service. I'll wait till after its MOT on Saturday though, just in case something goes wrong (with either the MOT or the service!).

I noticed on Saturday that the driver's door doesn't lock with the key any more. I can still lock it by pressing the button and holding the handle when I close it, and it opens ok, but it won't lock on the key. I'm not overly bothered but I know, I just KNOW, that if I get into the habit of locking it without using the key, I'm going to lock the keys inside it somewhere far away from my spare key. I take the door trim off and have a look, but I can't see what's wrong - it seems to work ok on the button but it looks as if the key lock has too much play and isn't turning it far enough. Maybe the lock has come loose in the door, but I just can't see... so I put it all together again.

Then later on I'm faffing about looking at web sites and I decide that the background colour of mine looks too much like Pies' one (I'd never noticed before, and it's not actually the same colour, but it looks like it!), so I change mine to a darker blue.

:: Saturday, May 10, 2008 ::

Up early to take the car for its MOT test today. The MOT isn't until 9:00 but I'd better warm it up first eh? So I go for a wee run. Everything seems fine, everything seems to work, so here's hoping.

At the MOT station I have to do the usual and show them how to open the bonnet (which won't bloody open for some strange reason - I get there though!) and generally stand and blether. Everything seems to be going well until he comes to check the nearside front wheel bearing. He spins the wheel then goes to get the other tester for a second opinion.

Result: fail because that bearing is noisy. He turns it to show me, and it makes the faintest barely audible whispering noise. His dad must have been a bleeding bat for him to pick that up as "noisy". There's no play in the bearing, there's no roughness, just this faint noise. So it's a fail. I try to argue for an "advisory" but he's suddenly gone deaf.

Now I've had various cars for MOT over the years, and this isn't the first time I've had a fail - but I really am pissed off about this one, there's sod all wrong with it. But a fail it is, so I'll have to fix it.

I go to the motor factors and wait in a huge queue while people at the front ask for obscure bits for cars they don't have any details of, and then spend ages phoning the cars' owner, or their garage, or their boss, to find out exactly what bits they really want. I try not to get too impatient because I have no idea what I want either. Eventually, partly through the efficiency of the guys behind the counter, and partly through natural attrition, I reach the front of the queue. Stepping over the last skeleton, I say "One left hand front wheel bearing for a Ford Sierra please my good man".

"What year?"

Quick, keep bluffing, "1990" I exclaim confidently (I hope).

"What engine size?"

Aw no it's getting dodgy now, I thought they were all the same except for the 4 wheel drive versions. "Em, 2 litre."

He digs out his Quinton Hazell catalogue, and has a rummage. "There's various types" he says.

Well I don't know do I? It's a wheel bearing, how hard can that be? Balls and a race, it's easy. Then he asks "Is it a Sierra or a Sapphire?"

That does it. I crack in the face of such vicious interrogation, which must be in breach of the Geneva convention, and tell him everything. "Look I don't have a shitey old rustbox Sierra really, it's for a TVR, yes a TVR. I'm a TVR driver and I'm proud. There I've said it now."

The whole shop falls silent. Mothers summon their wandering children and clutch them to their skirts. Through the murmurs and mutterings I hear the words "pitchfork" and "stake".

Our man behind the counter slams the catalogue shut like Basil Fawlty deciding that he's having no more scum like me in his hotel. "Nope," he says, "you'll have to bring in the old ones and we'll try to match them".

"Well how much are they?" I ask in a feeble attempt to re-engage a semi-friendly conversation.

"Twenty-five quid each for the inner and outer," he yells, by this time from the other end of the warehouse.

I leave forlornly, under the gaze of the revolting crowd, barely noticing the pile of wood and empty petrol tins already gathering beside the car park.

When I get home, I find the Quinton Hazell catalogue on-line. It's identical to the pages he was looking at. It shows that every model of Sierra has the same front wheel bearings, apart from the 4 wheel drive ones (which I knew about) and the RS Cosworth (which I didn't - but those are the bearings for a TVR Griffith apparently). Other than that, they are all the same part number. It's a conspiracy I tells ya.

A quick trip on ebay and I buy a Sierra left hand wheel bearing kit from somebody who doesn't know me and who therefore is not party to today's hate campaign, for a total of £19.95 including postage from Wales.

The only other concern is that the bearing bolt is both effing tight and inaccessible, so it's not going to be an easy job. I was hoping to get it back to the garage this week for a free retest but I don't think I'll manage that now. Just as I am thinking of making a start by at least dismantling it, the thunder and lightning starts and the rain comes down so hard that next door's cats look up Noah's address on yell.com and then start leaving two-by-two.

Chest lavvy as they say in France.

:: Friday, May 16, 2008 ::

A fun day today kiddies. I decided to take a day off work, to change the wheel bearing.

I thought that it would be a right bugger of a job, but to my surprise it turned out to be even worse. First job is to jack the car up and put axle stands under the chassis - suspension work nearly always ends up getting physical so you don't want the car wobbling about and then falling on you and breaking your Curly-Wurly.

Then I removed the brake caliper. My car has the two flexi brake hoses at each front axle, one from the body to the hub carrier, then a short metal pipe, then a second flexi-hose from there to the caliper. Some owners have a single long flexi hose all the way from the chassis to the caliper. I disconnected the metal pipe and took the flexi hose out of the hub carrier, then (because I have braided hoses and you can't use hose clamps on them) I plugged the end with a female connector fitted with a blocked up piece of pipe.

That then let let me remove the caliper and its carrier as one assembly, by removing the two bolts on to the hub then disconnecting it from the brake pipe. The brake disk comes off at the same time. Then I took out the big bolt that holds the brake pipes onto the bracket on the hub carrier, and took off the metal brake pipe and the flexi hose to the caliper.

Then I disconnected the steering arm. Remove the 17mm bolt on the top of the balljoint taper then I used a balljoint separator tool to pop the joint out of the end of the steering arm.

That let me turn the hub sideways so that I could get a socket onto the bottom balljoint. Mine was 22 mm. The hardest bit with this is getting the joint separated. Perseverance and a big hammer saved the day. I noticed that the joint is fairly "easy" to move (although there's no play) so I think I might change it after the summer.

Then the top balljoint. Instead of removing it from the taper (and risk damaging it in the process, bearing in mind that it's not that old), I took out the two bolts holding the balljoint into the upper wishbone. An that's it - the hub assembly is off.

I used an old screwdriver as a drift to remove the dust cover on the rear of the hub carrier, exposing the axle nut.

The next bit is tricky. The axle nut needs a 41 mm socket, and is tightened to a torque setting of "NNNNNNGGGHHHHH-AAAAHHHHGGGG-OUCH!!!" ie as tight as you can get the bastard before the spanner slips off. Getting it off is no easier. I decide to take it up to the garage because (a) they are likely to have a big socket and a massive bar and (b) it means that they will see that I've done the job and not just botched something up.

My son asks me to drop him off along the way at another garage, so that he can collect his car from service. I find myself talking to their quality control man, who says he is an ex-MOT inspector. I show him my hub and he listens while I turn it. He says that it does sound slightly rough and so probably a fail. I'm still not entirely happy but maybe the garage was right (if somewhat strict!).

Anyway, back to the MOT garage. They stick the hub in a vice and wheech the nut off in no time.

Back to the house, get a couple of wooden blocks to brace the caliper on and then use a big hammer and a drift to knock the axle out of the bearing carrier. It comes out after a couple of good thumps, leaving the inner bearing loose in the carrier and the outer bearing still on the stub axle, where it's stuck fast. I can't get a puller onto it because the oil seal is in the way. a couple of minutes with the blunt screwdriver prises the oil seal over the bearing - it's scrap but at least I can get to the back of the bearing now. My puller still won't grip the rear lip of the bearing, mainly because it's really a hub puller and not meant for bearings.

After a dig around the shed I find a large exhaust clamp, slightly larger in diameter then the bearing. I clamp it onto the bearing, making sure that it's damn tight. Then I get the hub puller on, gripping the rear of the exhaust clamp - and it works, pulling the bearing off the shaft.

I clean up the axle and the inside of the hub carrier with paraffin. The bearing faces in the hub look ok - I have new ones but there is absolutely no sign of wear on the old ones. Rather than drift them out I decide to keep them and fit the new taper rollers.

First I fit a new oil seal onto the axle, greasing the rubber lip first.

I fit the new outer bearing onto the axle, drifting it into position with a large deep socket.

The kit also includes a sachet of bearing grease. I grease the outer bearing.

Then I grease the bearing face in the hub, and fit the axle through, hammering it into position to fit the oil seal into the hub carrier.

Then turn the whole lot over and grease the other bearing face, and the taper bearing itself. Fit the bearing onto the shaft and again drift it into place with the same big socket.

The axle has a splined section under the nut, and a flat splined washer, to prevent the nut from turniing. Fit the splibned washer and then the nut.

Back to the garage and get them to tighten the nut up again. The bearing is so tight that it will hardly turn. The boys in the garage say that it will be ok - taper bearings sometimes are like that but will loosen up on the car. While I am there they are MOT-ing a Y-reg black TVR Tasmin which stays in the same town as me, but I've never seen it. The owner has left it, he isn't there, but I'll have to keep an eye out for him.

Back home to reassemble - basically the reverse of removal. I connected up the top balljoint first, so that I could manouevre the hub carrier to get the holes and shims lined up properly before I put the bolts back in.

Then refit the bottom balljoint. Make sure that there is no oil or grase on the balljoint taper or in the socket, then, to stop the taper turning as you put the locknut on, jack the car under the balljoint so that it's pushed into the taper. Fit the locknut and tighten.

Then I refitted all the brakes, first the disk and caliper, then the brake pipes, making sure that I had the pipe unplugged for as little time as possible. I did this by fitting the pipe to the caliper first, then securing the metal pipe and bracket to the hub, then finally unplugging the flexi-pipe and fitting it to the hub and connecting up the metal pipe as quickly as possible. I made sure to check that the brake master cylinder stayed topped-up as I was going!

Then I reconnected the steering arm, again using the jack to lift and hold the taper in the arm, while I tighten the locknut.

Then finally bleed the front brake and refit the road wheel.

It's now 4:30 so I head back to the MOT centre in the car. Unfortunately they shut at 4:30 on Fridays, but the boss man says if I bring it up tomorrow they'll have a look at it.

So I go for a wee run (yes only a few miles) just to make sure everything's ok - and it seems to be.

:: Saturday, May 17, 2008 ::

MOT pass!

The other TVR is still at the garage. It's a black 1983-ish 280 Tasmin with gold bumpers and gold wheels. I know that it's not the special "Martin Lilley" car (because Dave looked at that recently and it seems to be a long way from MOT-able by his account) but maybe it's some other special edition. I don't know enough about early Wedges to be able to tell.

I was going to have a wee run to celebrate but I have other things to do, and also it's pissing rain, and I need the roof-off experience!

:: Saturday, May 24, 2008 ::

Finally got my chance to have a wee run today. The weather is lovely so it's roof off and away we go!

It doesn't take long. After a couple of miles I'm a happy wee scone again. The car is filthy, the wheels are manky but it drives great!

I do notice, however, a slight fly in the ointment. It feels as if it is oversteering slightly, but I realise that what is happening is that it isn't self-centring properly as I straighten up. When I get home I check and adjust the tyre pressures, but it's still not right. I get an assistant to waggle the steering wheel while I grope all the steering joints, and I find that the knuckle in the steering column has a slight play. I spray some grease on to it and have a wee drive to work it in. By the time I get home the steering has improved again, so at least I'm sure I've diagnosed the problem. I need to order a new one.

I watched the MOT tester check that joint quite vigorously (I had an advisory on the column bearing last year but fixed that) so I'm surprised that he didn't find any play - it's much more obvious than the bleeding wheel bearing!

:: Sunday, May 25, 2008 ::

Spent the day giving the car a clean - first wash the paintwork and glass, then dry off. Then go round the door shuts etc, then clean the paintwork under the bonnet, then the wheels. I'm not going to get too worked up about cleaning everything - just as long as it's reasonably tidy. By the time I've finished it looks not too bad.

Later on I have a wee run, and while I am sitting in a layby beside the car, this guy wanders up and asks if it's mine. Turns out he owns an S3 which has been off the road for a while. He wants to know where I get mine serviced so it's not very helpful when I say that I do it all myself. I am careful not to offer too much assistance - I learned a long time ago that even a simple repair on a friend's car bestows a lifetime warranty on all moving parts, and your erstwhile friend becomes a bloody nuisance who expects you to fix every subsequent fault that arises for as long as he owns the car, because it was ok before you touched it. The fact that it was before, and still is, a fast-disintegrating pile of shit is completely lost on them. So no, I don't service other people's cars any more, at least not without a clear disclaimer that, once I've finished, they'll leave me alone and take it to a dealer if they're not happy.

:: Saturday, May 31, 2008 ::

Just a couple of little jobs to tidy the car up a bit. First I clean and polish the wheels, because the car's been sitting outside and they've oxidised again.

Then I remember that the rubber side strips along the tops of the doors (that seal against the side widow) are both loose, so I prise them back with my fingers then dab some evo-stik on with a lolly stick. Leave them till tacky then stick em together.

A bit of a dust inside, and it's as ready as it's going to be for its first show tomorrow.