:: April 2003 ::

:: Sunday, April 13, 2003 ::

Today I did it. Today I went out and bought a TVR. Not a nice shiny new TVR, oh no. That would have been too easy (apart from the cost!). No, I decided to buy a 13-year old one. It's a beautiful Mica Blue 1990 TVR S Series 3 convertible, with Oz alloy wheels and a magnolia (ie cream) leather interior. Not in concours nick but pretty good!

Met the seller and proceeded to crawl about underneath to ensure that the chassis was sound. Having established that, I then decided that anything else was fixable, so didn't bother checking too closely. After all these years, you'd think I would learn.

Did the deal, left him a cheque as a deposit, then left the car as I have to arrange insurance and he has to tax it. Promised I would collect the car on Wednesday or Thursday.

Drove home thinking "Oh no what have I done... stupid git you should have checked X Y and Z etc etc etc...

These concerns did not, naturally, prevent me from telephoning my brother as soon as I got home, to inform him of my purchase. I find it strange when one's own brother expresses doubts as to legitimacy of birth... but obviously I made allowance for the old green-eyed idol of jealousy...

:: Monday, April 14, 2003 ::

After an evening of "I own a TVR!!!! type stuff, I drove to work this morning, & then rushed straight into a private office & on the phone to a classic car insurer. Organised a 6000 mile per year policy, including free breakdown cover (It IS a TVR after all). They are sending the papers out today.

I then launched into a mammoth research of paint codes (for the touching-in of stone chips) and discovered that the colour is exactloy the same as Toyota Dark Blue Pearl. I also researched batteries, because I think the one in the car couldn't fizzle the eyebrows off a gnat. Halfords model HB069... noted...

Waterproof car covers. Steering locks. Workshop Manual! How am I going to fix anything without a workshop manual? The TVR owners club publish a "Bible" covering every repair imaginable (the mere existence of such a tome is in itself somewhat disconcerting) so naturally I ordered one of those over the internet.

:: Tuesday, April 15, 2003 ::

Another day at work, immersed in various projects but still panicking... what have I done? It's going to be a wreck - what else is wrong with it etc etc...

No insurance papers today - ach well never mind, I'm not going for the car till Thursday so there's plenty time. Thursday seems miles away - phone the seller just to agree that Thursday is ok... "Fine" he says "but I might be working most of the day" - He also tells me that he's had loads of calls since accepting my offer so I suspect he's thinking he's selling too cheap so he might be hoping I get pee'd off so he can sell to somebody else for more cash...

:: Wednesday, April 16, 2003 ::

On holiday today - took my daughters to the beach.

Still no insurance papers this morning so I am a shade more worried. This prompts me to telephone the insurers who apologise profusely and promise to send the papers out registered post today. I emphasise, in what I hope is a quiet and meaningful style, that I definitely need those papers tomorrow.

Then I discover that the railway guards are going on strike tomorrow in a dispute over who looks after the Kit-Kats while the driver puts out a warning triangle if the train set breaks. Drivers and guards both like kit-kats so an independent arbitrator has apparently been called in to decide who can be trusted with a full box. Anyway the net result is - no trains at all between here and the seller.

I contemplate getting the bus(es) which involves a 2-hour journey that a one-legged rickshaw could complete in 20 minutes... then I contemplate again... and arrange a lift for tomorrow afternoon.

In the meantime I have a small task to perform - ie to restore the two-car capacity of my driveway, which is somewhat curtailed by the storage of three quarters of a tonne of sand, that I will never use. Philanthropic attempts to donate it to neighbours undertaking various building projects have failed miserably, so now I have no alternative but to shift it myself - the question is - how do I move a bag of sand that weighs more than the car? The only answer is to wheelbarrow the sand out onto the road, until the bag is light enough to shift, and then wheelbarrow all the sand back into the bag.

One hour and various muscle pains later, I have achieved the task - by lengthening the driveway by a critical 6 feet. Result!

:: Thursday, April 17, 2003 ::

This is the day. Make or break (my money is somewhat pessimistically on the latter!)

Try to remain calm while I wait for the postman, my old mate the postman who brings me tidings from afar, letters from friends, kind offers from banks and insurance companies, but most importantly of all, car insurance papers. I watch as he approaches, whistling cheerily, and then walks past the window straight to next door. Tuneless Bastard... Not a good start...

Phone the insurance company, who apologise profusely and promise to send the papers out registered post today. I emphasise, in what I hope is a quiet and meaningful style, that I am majorly pissed off that I was promised that yesterday and they failed. I demand my money refunded, then realise that it might be a good idea to arrange an alternative first, where I can collect a certificate locally.

After several hours on the telephone, I realise that any local company is going to charge me a fortune (3 times the amount I am paying) so I realise I have no alternative, so I phone back in a more conciliatory note and persuade them to fax the certificate to me.

I also decide that I had better find out the price of a battery so that I can negotiate later if I need one. A wee trip to Halfords turns into a recipe for despair that would drive a Hare Krishna to suicide. "What make of car is it for" - "A TVR" - "Who makes them?" - "TVR" - "Does that come under Honda?" - "No it's a TVR" - "Yes but who makes it?" - "TVR" - "We don't have them listed" - "It's number 069" - "We don't have that listed either, it's discontinued" - "But it says on the chart over there that it also fits a Ford Maverick & a Mercedes van etc, so what do they get now?" - "Em I dunno" I decide that I'd be cheaper and almost certainly saner by bribing passers-by to push me each time so I leave.

I complete all of this hassle just in time to nip down to the bank (well, building society really) to withdraw the necessary spondoolicks. There I am advised that I cannot withdraw more than tenpence-ha'penny without 24 hours notice. This I find somewhat disappointing. Then she asks "What do you want the money for anyway?" and I decide to explain a few facts of financial life. I explain that if I'd asked for a loan and it wasn't ready yet, I'd understand. If the money was in a high interest account and the terms specified minimum notice, I'd understand that too. If I wanted to spend the money on a selection of daggers, chainsaws, rifles and grenades and go on a murderous spree in a chemical-induced haze, (or in Halfords) I'd understand their concern. But as the money I want is already mine, and it's in the closest thing they have to a current account, with "easy access to your funds" as advertised, and a commensurately rock-bottom rate of interest, I want it now. Today. She attempts to point out the restrictions in their promotional material, then realises that, as I said, no restrictions are spelled out.

She relents. But then states that she can't have it ready until 3pm after her staff return from lunch. We agree on 2:30 pm. I realise that this is cutting it fine because I am meeting the seller at 3:30. No choice though.

Collect the cash at 2:30, and get my lift to pick me up straight from the bank to the sellers house. We join the pre-easter lemmingness over the Forth Road Bridge. "GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!"

We collect the log book from the seller, and from there depart straight into the post office for the road tax. After waiting in an interminable queue while old Mrs McPherson tries to regale the assistant with tales of her most recent operation, and the fat guy tries to send a parcel of apparently varying weight to an address in Tokyo or somewhere else that they have red windowsills, I finally reach a window where I am cheerfully advised that they don't accept fax copies of Insurance certificates. Disaster.

I decide to drive home anyway.

Again we have to jump-start the car because the battery is as dead as a dodo. I note carefully that it starts ok, and that the battery charges ok, so I assume that £60 will be needed for a new battery. Having trousered my cash, the ex-owner then starts to explain that I musn't let the car idle in traffic, and I have to keep the heater on or it'll overheat. Slightly disconcerting but fixable. Hopefully.

He also gitters on interminably about the 100 or so phone calls he's had since I did the deal on Sunday. C'est la vie eh?

The drive home is absolutely fan-bleeding-tastic. I note that the car is running a wee bit hot, especially when stationary in lemmings, and also that the centre dials steam up until they are almost illegible. I am also terrified to stall in case it won't start again... Still superb though...

When I get home i stop the engine and then start it again, no problem. I get a voltmeter and check the battery at 12.24 volts, then move the car back into the back of the drive.

The website says that all TVR centre dials steam up like that. I resolve not to worry about it ever again.

:: Friday, April 18, 2003 ::

I have to work today - so I have to leave the car at home (a) because I don't want them at work to know I have it, (b) because it's not insured for work and (c) I don't trust it to get me there and back anyway. As I reverse out of the driveway I notice that that although the TVR is parked on the level bit of the drive, the front bumper overhands the uphill bit leading to the road. As a result, I realise, I cannot open the bonnet with the car where it is. If it doesn't start, I'll have to push it up the drive to get the bonnet open to get jump leads on. Duh!!

I spend all day at work desperate to get home early to tax the car, and then have a wee drive. I finally leave at 2, and endure further lemmingness compounded by slow lorries, & dawdling metros...

I get home to discover that 3 sets of insurance papers have arrived! So has "the bible" - the manual written by a repairer / restorer / racer. I fill in the road tax forms, then drive down to post office then Halfords for antifreeze.

When I get back home, the TVR starts first time! No need for a new battery after all! I shift the car forward & top up the coolant tank. I notice that the radiator cap isn't pressurised, but the overflow tank cap is - this strikes me as odd because I'd have expected them the other way around - could this explain the slight overheating? I resolve to RTFM (Read The Flaming Manual) later... first we need to drive!

And it's superb again!! Then I go round checking all the electrics and lights work... all ok except for one rear foglamp. Add this to "fix list".

Then I sit and RTFM - which says that the two coolant caps are indeed fitted wrongly, and even the owners manual has this wrong. I swap the caps which of course necessitates another test drive - a long one to induce overheating. The needle sits resolutely at "normal"! Sorted!! (Don't tell the seller though!)

:: Saturday, April 19, 2003 ::

I decide to repay my brother's kind comments about parentage by taking him for a wee drive. We go to the new TVR dealership in Kirkcaldy, which isn't open yet but has some lovely motors in the window. We blatt about some more, then I drop him off and head home the long way.

I discover today that the car goes faster if i press the accelerator right down - my wee legs are too short!

The car shows no signs at all of overheating so yesterday's repair seems to have worked.

The manual says that the pedal box is adjustable - this would resolve the short-arse speed-governing syndrome so I must investigate... My instinct for self-preservation kicks in however so maybe I should leave it alone...

I buy some autoglym leather cleaner & try a bit on the interior - seems to be OK but not brilliant.

By 10 pm I realise that I have been in the car all day - so I get it amputated under anaesthetic at night & go to bed!

:: Sunday, April 20, 2003 ::

Go out & buy red hammerite for the chassis, which is solid but needs rustproofing, because the factory coating has come off in the more vulnerable spots. Repairing this will involve jacking the car up, wire brushing the loose coatings off, and then applying 3 coats of hammerite and a coat of Waxoyl underseal. A messy job that I'll tackle over a couple of weekends.

I also buy some leather cleaner wipes which work really well on the interior!

Can't find a shop that stocks Toyota Dark Blue Pearl paint - which is exactly the same paint mix as TVR Starfire Mica Blue! I'll have to go to a Toyota dealer.

Blatt about the countryside a bit. As you do.

Watching the weather forecast predict rain for tomorrow and remember that I haven't ordered a waterproof / tree-sap-proof / bird-plop-proof cover yet. Order one on-line because the quality seems to be better than the nylon sheets sold locally.

I need to add some car piccies to the web site. A job for the next fairly sunny day.

:: Monday, April 21, 2003 ::

A quiet day, mainly because it's raining. Put the car in the drive and start to plan the chassis clean-up job. Drive 35 miles to turn the car around to get it in the drive. Ah well...

More furious research fails to turn up a suitable outlet that sells or makes carpets. I have 2 choices : (1) buy some carpet and make patterns and get the bindings stitched on, or (2) find a local car trimmer and take him the existing rugs.

:: Tuesday, April 22, 2003 ::

Another quiet day, mainly because I've been at work. I decide to undertake the simple task of replacing the bulb in the right-hand rear fog lamp - noticed on Sat night that the left one works but the right one doesn't. Open the boot, take out the double-filament brake bulb that's been shoved in the wrong place and put the right bulb in - and - nothing. Neither of them works now...

Notice that the fog lamp warning light doesn't work either. Decide to check the fuse - the rear fogs are fed by their own fuse. Manual says "To open the fuses pull down the panel above the passenger footwell" - after pulling and twisting and hitting and bending, I notice that the centre console is in the way. Two wee screws and way-yey out it comes. Then the fuse panel drops down and disgorges an intestinal tangle of wiring, relays, fuses and connectors onto the carpet as if I had just cut open Jabba the Hutt after a particularly filling meal of electrical spaghetti. The fuse is fine. The engine control computer isn't, having just become disconnected and it's too dark to see how it goes back. The fog lamps still don't work

At least I know nobody can nick it tonight...

Then at 11:00 pm - a brainwave! I go back out and swap 2 fuses over - now the foglamps work but the wipers don't. So it IS the fuse. The fuse looks ok but is obviously damaged internally.

:: Wednesday, April 23, 2003 ::

Put new fuse in, everything works fine. Manage to compress all the electrics back up behind the dashboard and get the panel back on and the centre console replaced.

Happy pixie again...

:: Thursday, April 24, 2003 ::

Another visit to the TVR dealers in Kirkcaldy (open this time) to check on some parts prices - mainly interior trim bits that are a bit tatty. They don't have a CD yet for the S Series but turns out he lives near me so asks me to phone him, he'll have a look at the car and get me the bits I need. Lovely!

Raining all day so car is soaking. Car cover has arrived by post but car is too wet to cover, because that would trap all that nasty moisture carrying the dreaded rust virus, under the cover, see? I have to leave my baby out in the rain.

:: Friday, April 25, 2003 ::

Still raining, still no chance to put cover on. Discover passenger window isn't sealing properly against the roof, so there are a few water drips on the passenger seat. Really needs a new seal. Summoning all of my technical expertise, I roll up a plastic bag and wedge it into the gap.

A friend (seriously into classic cars) tells me that he knows the guy I bought the car from! He says the car has been well looked after, although it's 2 years since he last saw it. He tells me about a place where he has bought 3 or 4 sets of carpets on mail order - so I fax them details of the car and ask for a price.

I suspect this isn't going to be cheap...

:: Saturday, April 26, 2003 ::

The weather forecast last night said overcast with intermittent showers. I decided that I would therefore get the car up on stands and start the chassis cleaning and painting (seeing as how it's dry under there anyway!)

I get up and the sun is splitting the trees. What was I going to do again? Oh yes - wash of all the burdy doo-dahs, eats into the paint you know, got to clean it... Then I'll put the cover on and get into the chassis work. Yes that's the plan.

Wash the car with a hose and sponge, chamois it down, ooh it looks good. The engine is a bit manky though. Jetwash! I get the jetwasher out, detergent the engine and jetwash murk away. might as well do the front of the chassis while I'm here. And the front suspension wishbones.

Now the chassis is all wet - I need to dry it off. I also needs to take some photos. A wee drive would just fulfil both requirements! Takes me nearly 30 miles to find a suitable location 5 miles from the house. I decide to wear the woolly viking hat for the drive home - black hat with yellow horns. The looks I get from some people, you'd think they'd never seen a man with horns before. No wonder the Vikings couldn't put up with it...

After teatime I decide that I don't have enough time to brush down the chassis and get 3 coats of hammerite on. So I don't. Instead I fit the cover because the weatherman says it's definitely going to be raining tomorrow...

:: Sunday, April 27, 2003 ::

The weatherman was right. 5 minutes rain every hour means its not worth taking the cover off. Plenty other (non-TVR) things to do anyway.

I really HAVE TO get the chassis work done... sometime...

:: Monday, April 28, 2003 ::

More rubbish weather, windy and rainy. Cover stays on.

:: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 ::

Got home early from work today, weather is warm and dry, so I get all over-enthusiatic and put the car up on ramps to have a better look at the chassis. I know from my pre-purchase look that the chassis is sound, but needs painted and / or waxoyled to keep it that way!

I particularly noticed that the plastic coating is peeling off the outriggers (in fact hardly any left!) below the doors, and this is the area in most urgent need of attention. See below for "before" pictures.

I attack the nearside (worst) outriggers with a wallpaper stripper and a wire brush, which work a treat and soon I have them down to good metal. A couple of coats of red gloss Hammerite and it looks as good as new! (By the time I was finished it was too dark to take "after" pics so they'll follow later).

[Edit] Here's the "after" photos of the nearside of the chassis after cleaning and painting. Brighter than Carol Vordermann doing her "A" Levels.